When I stopped trying to keep the world turning

There was a time when I thought doing my best wasn’t a choice; it was survival.

If I didn’t give my all, things would fall apart. Projects would fail. People would be disappointed. I would lose my place.

For a long time, that was how life felt for me.

​Every day was a performance: be kind, be productive, be useful, be “on brand” as a reliable person.

I convinced myself that this is just how adulthood works. I keep going because stopping feels dangerous.

So I wake up, put on my “functional human” costume, and start the day. Answer messages. Reply to emails. Show up for people. Show my best side.

I try to be understanding, responsible, and strong, even on days when my heart feels tired. At some point, “doing my best” stops being an act of love and starts becoming a way to stay safe.​

If I keep performing, they won’t see the parts of me that feel lost and confused.

Then one day, I just stopped. Not because I planned to, not because something big happened, but because I didn’t want to. Because I was tired.

That day, I woke up and thought:

What if I don’t try today? What if I don’t give 100%? What if I just… rest? Have fun?

So I rest. Not productive rest. Not the “I will rest so I can work harder later” kind of rest. Just… not doing things.

At first, the guilt came rushing in.

“What are you doing, wasting time?”
“You’ll fall behind.”
“You’ll disappoint someone.”

But none of that happened. The world didn’t collapse, and people carried on with their days. And the sun still set, quietly, without my contribution.

I realized, maybe I was never the one holding it all together. The world keeps turning, with or without my effort. People move, decisions are made, life continues in its own rhythm.

It’s humbling and strangely freeing at the same time.

​All this time, I thought I needed to make things work. Now, I can see that I’m just part of it. And that’s enough.

Since then, I’ve been learning to live from a different place.

Not from pressure, but from peace. Not from expectation, but from alignment. I no longer want to impress the world, I want to be in it.

To do what speaks to my heart. To create when I feel inspired, not obligated. To say “no” when I’m empty, and “yes” when I’m alive.

I didn’t know that this kind of power comes with letting go.

When you stop trying to keep the world turning, you can finally hear the small pulse of your own heart again. And maybe that’s what the world needs from us,

Not our constant motion, but our genuine presence to just be.

So if you ever wake up and feel like you don’t want to do your best, maybe that’s not laziness. Perhaps that’s your soul asking for stillness.

And maybe that’s enough for today.

Take it easy.

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I hope you find this insightful. Remember:

It’s not going to be easy,
But it’s not impossible.

Your friend,

Brian.