Sometimes these "afraid" people are suffering from trauma they've never shared with anyone. I had a friend for many years who was always telling me what I should/shouldn't be doing. She finally shared with me only a couple years ago that she had been molested and abused as a child. I had known her long enough to know that if I even gently suggested she talk to a professional about it she would totally shut me down. I had to finally let go of the friendship because she got more and more difficult to talk to (long story).
"I had to finally let go of the friendship because she got more and more difficult to talk to (long story)."
I can relate to this – what was once a tight relationship became exhausting, because of a trauma that we can't heal, and we can't help, despite our best intentions.
The framing of 'afraid people give afraid advice' is spot on. I've definetly collected way too many opinions from ppl who've never shipped anything. That distinction between advice from experince vs advice from fear is something I wish I'd understood years earlier - woulda saved so much overthinking.
I feel you, I feel like I've wasted some of the best years of my life by listening to people who are afraid. But hey, here we are now. Glad that part of our lives is now in the past.
Sometimes these "afraid" people are suffering from trauma they've never shared with anyone. I had a friend for many years who was always telling me what I should/shouldn't be doing. She finally shared with me only a couple years ago that she had been molested and abused as a child. I had known her long enough to know that if I even gently suggested she talk to a professional about it she would totally shut me down. I had to finally let go of the friendship because she got more and more difficult to talk to (long story).
"I had to finally let go of the friendship because she got more and more difficult to talk to (long story)."
I can relate to this – what was once a tight relationship became exhausting, because of a trauma that we can't heal, and we can't help, despite our best intentions.
The framing of 'afraid people give afraid advice' is spot on. I've definetly collected way too many opinions from ppl who've never shipped anything. That distinction between advice from experince vs advice from fear is something I wish I'd understood years earlier - woulda saved so much overthinking.
I feel you, I feel like I've wasted some of the best years of my life by listening to people who are afraid. But hey, here we are now. Glad that part of our lives is now in the past.