Most advices are not for most people
When I was in my 20s, there was a specific script that everyone seemed to follow. If you opened any self-help book or scrolled through social media, you’d hear the exact same words:
“Quit your job. Chase your passion. Take the risk.”
The narrative was always about going all or nothing. We were told to live with the bare minimum, embrace the hustle culture, and sacrifice our sleep. The promise was that if you risked it all, you’d end up with your own successful company. And once you got there, you’d never have to worry about money or work ever again.
Back then, I believed it with all my heart.
I even planned it out. I thought, “Okay, one day I will quit. I just need to save enough money to cover my living expenses for a year or two, and then I’ll go all out to chase my dreams.”
But years passed, and that day never came.
At first, I blamed myself for not being able to save enough money. Then, I blamed my parents for not being financially secure. But when I finally ran out of people to blame, I saw the truth: I will never be able to do that.
Because my life is fundamentally different from the people giving that advice.
Conveniently hidden truth
When you look closer at those inspiring success stories, you start to see the missing details.
They will tell you about how they lived in a tiny basement with nothing but a bed and a desk to save money. But they conveniently forget to mention the safety net they had, otherwise, the story won’t be as inspiring.
Think about the ultimate startup success stories we all look up to. We love the myth of the lone genius who built an empire out of nothing, but the reality is usually much more comfortable.
We hear about how Amazon started in a humble garage, using an old wooden door as a desk. But what people rarely mention is that in 1995, his parents invested nearly $250,000 of their own money to help kickstart the company.
Or how a college kid coding in his Harvard dorm room, building Facebook out of sheer genius. But we don’t often talk about the fact that his family was wealthy enough to pay for private software tutors when he was a kid, or that his father helped fund Facebook in its earliest days.
Most people don’t have all that privilege.
So if their advice works for some people, it means they have the same safety net that could support that lifestyle. Good for them, but unfortunately, not for most people.
Don’t get me wrong. Yes. it is frustrating to see billionaires with endless wealth who don’t do more to solve the world’s biggest problems. Yes, I don’t like them.
But this isn’t about being bitter. It is not about blaming others for having a head start. It is just about realizing a simple truth: most advice is not meant for most people.
You should never hate yourself for not being able to follow the path that popular gurus, motivators, or mentors layout for you. Their reality is completely different from yours. When you try to force their blueprint onto your life, it’s like trying to run a race with a completely different set of rules.
You might ended up hating your life, just like how I did a couple of years ago.
So, take it easy on yourself.
Look at where you are right now.
Look at where you used to be.
Appreciate the progress you’ve made.
If you look closely, life is better than it was before. And if it isn’t right now, it will be.
You don’t need to leap off a cliff to build a meaningful life. You just need to move at your own pace, in your own time.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. As long as you are doing your best with the tools you actually have, you are doing perfectly fine.
I hope you found this insightful. Remember:
It’s not gonna be easy,
But it’s not impossible.
Your friend,
Brian