If you want to enjoy it, you have to be good at it

I spent most of my life avoiding things.

I didn’t cook because my food tasted bland. I didn’t write because my thoughts felt messy and cringe. I didn’t draw because my hands couldn’t keep up with my imagination.

I told myself I lacked “talent.” I convinced myself that if I didn’t enjoy the process, it wasn’t meant for me.

But I was wrong.

I didn’t hate the activities. I just hated being bad at them.

The wisdom of a random TV show

One day, my wife stumbled upon a Japanese variety show. I can’t remember the name, but I’ll never forget what one of the actors said to a struggling teammate:

“You will not enjoy it if you are not good at doing it.”

It sounds harsh, doesn’t it?

We’re always told to “enjoy the journey,” or “enjoy the process.” But this quote felt more honest, relatable, even. It reminded me of the time I stopped playing football.

In high school and university, football was my life. I was fast. I was precise. I was not the best, but I was good. And because I was good, I loved every second of it. Playing football was one of the sources of joy in my life back then.

Now, as an adult in the workforce, my body feels heavy. I’m out of breath in minutes. My shots are weak. The game didn’t change. My skill level did.

I enjoyed football because I was good at it.

And because I’m no longer “good” at it, the joy has vanished.

The resistance of “cringe”

The reason we quit new things is that we know what it feels like to be good at something else.

We know the euphoria of flow.

We know what it feels like when a task is effortless.

So, when we try something new—like cooking or writing—and it feels clunky and “cringe,” we recoil. We hesitate. We run away.

We mistake the learning curve for a lack of passion. And I was a believer of this narrative, too.

• Writing: I used to feel embarrassed to share my thoughts. Now, it’s only natural to clear my thoughts by writing.

• Drawing: I used to think my sketches were ugly. Now, they are my greatest strength.

• Cooking: I used to hate the kitchen. But the more I practised, the more I learned. Now, I can look at my fridge and see a meal instead of a problem.

I only started enjoying these things once I pushed past the “shitty first attempts.” Once I knew that I was good enough, things started to get fun.

I no longer think about what other people say when I publish my writings. I am confident enough to offer my drawing skills as a service. And I happily cook for my family every day.

What we often forget is that skill is the gatekeeper of fun. Just like what the Japanese actor said: You won’t enjoy it if you’re not good at it.

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So, if you are currently struggling with a new hobby, or if you feel like giving up because “it’s just not fun,” ask yourself:

Do I actually hate this, or am I just tired of being bad at it?

The resistance you feel, the “cringe,” the frustration, the hurdle, they are just the price of admission. They are the things that most people avoid. They are the reason why some people are better than others.

Just keep going, because the euphoria is waiting for you on the other side of the practice.

Remember: you can’t enjoy it until you’re good at it.

So, get good.

And enjoy the ride.