When I was in my 20s, there was a specific script that everyone seemed to follow. If you opened any self-help book or scrolled through social media, you’d hear the exact same words:

“Quit your job. Chase your passion. Take the risk.”

The narrative was always about going all or nothing. We were told to live with the bare minimum, embrace the hustle culture, and sacrifice our sleep. The promise was that if you risked it all, you’d end up with your own successful company. And once you got there, you’d never have to worry about money or work ever again.

Back then, I believed it with all my heart.

I even planned it out. I thought, “Okay, one day I will quit. I just need to save enough money to cover my living expenses for a year or two, and then I’ll go all out to chase my dreams.”

But years passed, and that day never came.

At first, I blamed myself for not being able to save enough money. Then, I blamed my parents for not being financially secure. But when I finally ran out of people to blame, I saw the truth: I will never be able to do that.

Because my life is fundamentally different from the people giving that advice.

Conveniently hidden truth

When you look closer at those inspiring success stories, you start to see the missing details.

They will tell you about how they lived in a tiny basement with nothing but a bed and a desk to save money. But they conveniently forget to mention the safety net they had, otherwise, the story won’t be as inspiring.

Think about the ultimate startup success stories we all look up to. We love the myth of the lone genius who built an empire out of nothing, but the reality is usually much more comfortable.

We hear about how Amazon started in a humble garage, using an old wooden door as a desk. But what people rarely mention is that in 1995, his parents invested nearly $250,000 of their own money to help kickstart the company.

Or how a college kid coding in his Harvard dorm room, building Facebook out of sheer genius. But we don’t often talk about the fact that his family was wealthy enough to pay for private software tutors when he was a kid, or that his father helped fund Facebook in its earliest days.

Most people don’t have all that privilege.

So if their advice works for some people, it means they have the same safety net that could support that lifestyle. Good for them, but unfortunately, not for most people.

Don’t get me wrong. Yes. it is frustrating to see billionaires with endless wealth who don’t do more to solve the world’s biggest problems. Yes, I don’t like them.

But this isn’t about being bitter. It is not about blaming others for having a head start. It is just about realizing a simple truth: most advice is not meant for most people.

You should never hate yourself for not being able to follow the path that popular gurus, motivators, or mentors layout for you. Their reality is completely different from yours. When you try to force their blueprint onto your life, it’s like trying to run a race with a completely different set of rules.

You might ended up hating your life, just like how I did a couple of years ago.

So, take it easy on yourself.

• Look at where you are right now.

• Look at where you used to be.

• Appreciate the progress you’ve made.

If you look closely, life is better than it was before. And if it isn’t right now, it will be.

You don’t need to leap off a cliff to build a meaningful life. You just need to move at your own pace, in your own time.

Don’t be too hard on yourself. As long as you are doing your best with the tools you actually have, you are doing perfectly fine.

I hope you found this insightful. Remember:

It’s not gonna be easy,
But it’s not impossible.

Your friend,
Brian

The rain finally stops, but you do not feel victorious.

You are just standing there, covered in mud, looking at the mess around you.

We are conditioned to expect a reward for our struggles. We think that if we suffer through a massive storm, the universe owes us a beautiful ending to make up for it. We wait for the rainbow.

But expecting a prize only makes the aftermath feel harder.

When things go wrong, they rarely happen one by one. It rains, and then it pours. Your career, your relationships, your mental health, everything catches the downpour at the exact same time.

During those moments, it is easy to feel completely swallowed by the dark. But a storm is just weather. It has no agenda, and it is not going to rain forever. Eventually, it simply runs out of water.

The sky clears, and the sun comes out.

The problem is, when the sky finally clears, we expect a magical shift. We want to feel immediately inspired or enlightened. We want a silver lining that makes the pain worth it.

But real life is clumsy.

Most of the time, the silver lining is invisible. Maybe after a couple of years, you will look back and understand why it happened, what you learned from it, and how you grew after. But right at that moment? You are just left standing in a wet, messy reality.

When you get through a hard season, you might not feel strong. You might just feel incredibly tired.

And that is just how it is. It’s realistic.

You do not need a colorful sky to validate what you just went through. You do not need a beautiful prize to prove that you are resilient.

You don’t have to look for a rainbow. Just seeing the sunlight is good enough.

Seeing the sunlight means the downpour has stopped. It means the worst is behind you, and you made it through. That alone is a massive achievement.

Instead of looking up at the sky for a sign, look down at your feet. It is about finding your footing again. It is about knowing that the ground beneath you is solid, even if it is currently a bit muddy.

If there is a rainbow later? Then it is your lucky day. But do not waste your remaining energy searching for it.

You do not have to figure everything out today. You do not have to clean up the entire mess this afternoon. You just have to get through the mud, take one heavy step at a time, and let yourself soak in the sunlight again.

I hope you find this insightful, remember:

It’s not gonna be easy
But it’s not impossible

Your friend,
Brian

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about how much we fear the unknown.

It’s that paralyzing feeling you get when you’re standing at the starting line of a new project, a career pivot, or a personal goal. You look ahead, and instead of seeing a clear, well-lit path, you just see fog.

The uncertainty of starting out.

Most of the time, our minds demand a map. We want a guarantee, a checklist, or a cosmic sign that everything will turn out perfectly before we commit to taking a single step. Heck, we'd believe a random fortune cookie if it gives the tiniest bit of assurance.

And when we don’t get that guarantee? Our default reaction is to just stop. We freeze. We tell ourselves we aren't ready yet, or that we'll start when the timing is "perfect."

But what if we’re looking at it all wrong? What if not knowing how it'll all work out isn't a warning sign to turn back? What if it’s the exact reason why you should keep going?

When we face uncertainty, our brains naturally loop through anxious, self-doubting questions:

How far can I actually make it before I burn out?

How hard can it really get?

How will things change once I finally make it?

These questions are exhausting because they try to solve a future that hasn't happened yet. They focus entirely on the external obstacles. But there’s a much more beautiful, internal question we often forget to ask:

How will you change once things work out?

We spend so much energy worrying about the worst-case scenarios that we forget to imagine who we could become if we succeed. The uncertainty isn't a brick wall keeping you out; it’s an open space designed for you to grow into.

Imagine yourself a few years down the road. You’re sitting alone with your thoughts, looking back at the exact choice you are facing today. When you look back at this moment, you really only have two options for what you'll say to yourself:

1. "I'm so glad I did it."

2. "I wish I did it."

Both choices require energy. The first one requires a temporary burst of courage to face discomfort and vulnerability.

The second one? It leaves you with the weight of regret that sits with you for years. If you're going to carry something, carry the fatigue of trying, not the burden of wondering what if.

It’s also incredibly easy to fall into the trap of looking at the future and thinking, "Next year is going to be better than this one." We treat the flipping of a calendar page like a magical reset button that will automatically fix our lives and hand us motivation.

But a change in the date doesn't change our reality. Whether the future turns out to be a good year or a tough one doesn't depend on luck—it depends on you. It depends on the small, unglamorous, intentional decisions you make on a random Tuesday when nobody is watching.

The Hike

Life is a lot like a mountain trail. Right now, you might be standing at the very base. The path looks incredibly steep, the peak is completely hidden in the clouds, and you have no idea what challenges are waiting for you around the bend. It's completely normal to feel intimidated.

You don't need to see the entire trail to start moving. You don't need all the answers right now.

You just need enough courage to take the next step.

Because you’ll never know what the view looks like from the top if you never take the hike.

So, let's take a hike.

I hope you find this insightful, remember:

It's not gonna be easy
But it's not impossible

Your friend
Brian

In 2021, I jumped into a new hobby: film photography.

It started with one film camera. Then two. And, well... you know how it is when you’re diving deep into something new. Before I knew it, I had a bunch of them.

I fell in love with it because film cameras gave me surprises. Every roll was a mystery waiting to be discovered. I took pictures, and had to wait for some time until I can see the results come out.

It also made me a better photographer, and it forced me to be intentional, to slow down, and to actually enjoy the moment instead of just rushing through it.

But lately, social media has a weird way of changing things.

It started making me feel like my hobbies needed a justification. I felt this subtle, nagging pressure to make it a "productive" hobby. I didn't want to feel like I was just a consumer. Because consumers only consume—and when you just consume, there is no Return on Investment.

So, I tried to fix it. I tried to make it productive.

First, I tried making content on Instagram, hoping to become an "analog photography content creator." It didn’t work, so I gave up.

Then, I uploaded my pictures just so people would know I do analog photography. Just keep it simple and subtle. To show my “identity” as a film photographer. However, making my Instagram “aesthetic” is a hassle, so I stopped.

Lastly, I even tried making a photo book, mostly because my other friends who love film photography were making them too. It seemed like it was the right thing to do at that time. And again, I don’t enjoy it at all.

So, I stopped. I put the cameras away. I had lost the joy of doing it, because I was too focused on making it a productive hobby.

That’s how I learned that the more I tried to make it a productive hobby, the less I enjoyed it. It gave me unnecessary pressure to create. A pressure to justify my existence and my expenses to an algorithm. Having “things to prove” even though nobody asked for it.

Then, one day, I remembered that I had a few rolls of film I hadn't developed yet. They were just sitting there, forgotten. I picked them up, walked down to a local film shop, and had them washed.

When I saw the results, everything came rushing back.

The joy of film photography.
The surprise after each roll.
The exact moments I took them.
The places I’ve been.
The people I love.
And suddenly, it just made sense.

You don’t need to justify anything if you enjoy doing it.

Happiness is a good reason to do something.

The joy of doing it is the return of investment.

You don’t need to monetize your peace of mind. You don’t need to turn your joy into a side hustle, and you certainly don't need an audience to validate what makes you happy.

We live in a world that tells us every waking hour must be productive. That every passion must have a financial or social return. They call it the hustle culture.

But what if the return on investment is simply your own happiness?

It’s okay to take photos that no one else will ever see. It’s okay to spend money on film rolls that sit in a drawer for months. It’s okay to just be a consumer of your own life, capturing moments just for you.

A hobby is meant to be an escape from the relentless pressure of the world. It is a safe space. A place where you don't have to perform. A place where you just have to be.

So, if you have a hobby that brings you joy, protect it. Don’t let the noise of hustle culture take it away from you.

Do it because you want to.

Do it because you love it.

Your happiness is the only justification you need.

I hope you find this insightful, remember:

It's not gonna be easy
But it's not impossible

Your friend,
Brian

From Monday to Friday, life can feel like a lot.

We wake up, try to keep up with everything around us, and hope for the best. But the truth is, most of the time, we’re just figuring things out as we go.

Whether you’re commuting to a job where you feel lost, or sitting in a classroom pretending to care about things just to fit in, it is exhausting.

And a lot of timed, the anxiety just creeps in.

You look around and it feels like everyone else received a manual for life, while you’re just trying not to fall apart.

You force yourself to keep moving, even when your mind is tired, without any guarantee that it will even pay off.

“I dont want to go out today. I just want to get back to sleep until the werkend.”

It’s a thought we rarely share out loud, but one we feel deeply.

We drag ourselves through the weekdays, counting down the hours.

But then, Friday arrives. And somehow, everything feels lighter.

When the Friday clock runs out, the expectations drop. You no longer have to worry about being too exhausted to follow trends or catch up with the latest news.

The weekend is finally here and you’re free to do anything you want.

It is your chance to stop running and just breathe. You can dive into a hobby no one else understands, sleep in, or just stare at the ceiling. It is the space where you get to be yourself again.

Life isn't a string of perfect days. It hurts, and there will be moments when you just want to hide. And that is completely okay.

If you are feeling overwhelmed today, try to remember these three things:

• Praise your past self. Give yourself credit for surviving yesterday. You made it here, even if you had to drag yourself across the finish line.

• Stop trying to fix everything. Work, love, and studies. You don't have to be perfect at all of them at once.

• Just focus on today. Deal with today without worrying about next week.

We might not know if next Monday will be easier. But as long as we have the weekend ahead, we can find a reason to keep going.

Take a deep breath. You’re doing better than you think.

I hope you find this insightful. Remember:

It’s not gonna be easy

But it’s not impossible

Your friend,

Brian

Have you ever felt like you just weren’t born with “it”?

Like you aren’t particularly good at anything, and there is nothing really to showcase or be proud of?

If you are feeling this way right now, let’s take three minutes to completely shift that mindset.

When we think about “talent,” we usually picture the people around us who seem to excel effortlessly. We start learning something new, feel completely clumsy at it, and immediately compare ourselves to a friend who is already miles ahead.

We do this subconsciously, making ourselves feel smaller and smaller.

By constantly comparing our beginnings to someone else’s middles, we convince ourselves that we are fundamentally untalented and that we will never be good enough.

But here is the truth: you will never win the comparison game. There will always be someone smarter, faster, better, more creative, or cooler than you.

Because we love to compare, we quickly put ourselves in a box. We label ourselves as “hopeless” or “untalented” just to cope with the gap between us and others.

But if we look at it objectively, where does talent actually come from? If you ask the people who are incredibly good at what they do, is it really just a magical gift they were born with?

Most likely, the answer is no.

What we perceive as “talent” is usually just an immense amount of hard work happening behind closed doors.

When no one is watching, when there is no applause, they keep practicing—simply because they love doing it.

And when that love evolves into an obsession, everything changes.

When you reach the level of obsession, you stop caring about outside validation. You don’t care about the likes, the views, or saving face.

Obsession makes you beautifully numb to the things that usually hold you back. You become fiercely protective of your time and mindfulness, not because you are selfish, but because you are genuinely curious to see how far you can grow.

What happens when you are obsessed:

• Time dissolves: You stop counting hours. You don’t care about “optimal productivity windows” because you are having too much fun.

• Resilience becomes automatic: You don’t give up when things get messy or when plans fall apart. The friction doesn’t stop you; it challenges you.

• You build a thick skin: You realise you aren’t doing this for anyone else’s approval. You are doing it for yourself.

So, if you feel small right now because you think you lack talent, or if you feel stuck in life due to a “skill issue,” consider this:

Maybe you don’t lack talent. Maybe you just haven’t found something to be obsessed with yet.

You don’t need to be a prodigy.

You just need to care enough about something that you are willing to lose yourself in the process of mastering it.

I hope you find this inspiring. Remember:

It’s not going to be easy, but it’s not impossible.

Your friend,
Brian.

Ps. This was a recreation of a blog post I wrote in 2023.

Have you ever bought a new book, placed it neatly on your desk, and instantly felt a little bit smarter?

Even though you haven’t even cracked the spine yet.

I used to fall into this trap. Actually, even these days, I still do. I confuse preparing to do the work with actually doing the work, even though they are two completely different things.

In a world obsessed with self-improvement, we have accidentally mastered a new habit: collecting the illusion of progress.

Now, can you be honest with yourself? How many of these sound familiar?

You buy books, but they just collect dust. You feel like you’ve invested in yourself just by purchasing them, but you just like how they make you feel when you buy them. You know what I like to do? I pick them up, thinking that I’d read them in my commute to work, but as always, I end up just leaving the books in my bag untouched.

You look for inspiration, but never start. You spend hours scrolling, looking for the perfect “spark” or idea. On Instagram, Pinterest, magazines, and everywhere else. By the time you find it, you’re too exhausted to actually create anything. But hey, you feel productive at least.

You watch tutorials, but never practice. You know all the theories, the hacks, and the shortcuts. Yet, you’ve never actually opened the software or picked up the tools to try it yourself. You “know” a lot without ever “doing” it, even just for a bit.

You have big dreams, but avoid the sweat. You love the mental image of your future success, but you look away when it’s time to face the boring, messy, daily grind. When things get hard, you find excuses, or better, you make plans, do some research, and think that you already did a good job.

This is the trap people who want to be productive got into. We keep ourselves busy with tasks just to feel productive, not because we actually want to do the work.

What makes it better is that our brains are clever, so we are also wired to take the path of least resistance. They love dopamine, or simply put, the feel-good chemical. The brain hates hard work.

So, when you buy a book or bookmark a tutorial, your brain misinterprets this as an achievement. It gives you a cheap hit of satisfaction without making you go through the friction of learning, failing, or straining your brain. The brain hates hard work.

That’s why hoarding knowledge feels amazing, while actually applying it feels uncomfortable. Watching someone else build something is easy; building it yourself is hard. The brain hates hard work.

But if you only chase the feeling of progress, you aren’t actually moving forward. If you keep living in this loop, guess where you will be this time next year?

Exactly where you are right now. You’ll just have a taller pile of unread books, a longer list of unhatched ideas, and a life that stays exactly the same.

You don’t need to overcomplicate it. You don’t need to read a whole book in one sitting or work 12 hours straight.

If you have a book on your desk, open to page one right now and read just one paragraph.

If you just watched a tutorial, open your laptop and practice for just two minutes.

If you have a dream, do one tiny, imperfect thing today that pushes you toward it.

Break the pattern, or the loop will repeat.

It is easier said than done. I know. But Remember:

It’s not gonna be easy. But it’s not impossible.

Good luck and have fun.

I hope you find this insightful. Remember:

It’s not going to be easy,
But it’s not impossible.

Your friend,
Brian.

I spent most of my life avoiding things.

I didn’t cook because my food tasted bland. I didn’t write because my thoughts felt messy and cringe. I didn’t draw because my hands couldn’t keep up with my imagination.

I told myself I lacked “talent.” I convinced myself that if I didn’t enjoy the process, it wasn’t meant for me.

But I was wrong.

I didn’t hate the activities. I just hated being bad at them.

The wisdom of a random TV show

One day, my wife stumbled upon a Japanese variety show. I can’t remember the name, but I’ll never forget what one of the actors said to a struggling teammate:

It sounds harsh, doesn’t it?

We’re always told to “enjoy the journey,” or “enjoy the process.” But this quote felt more honest, relatable, even. It reminded me of the time I stopped playing football.

In high school and university, football was my life. I was fast. I was precise. I was not the best, but I was good. And because I was good, I loved every second of it. Playing football was one of the sources of joy in my life back then.

Now, as an adult in the workforce, my body feels heavy. I’m out of breath in minutes. My shots are weak. The game didn’t change. My skill level did.

I enjoyed football because I was good at it.

And because I’m no longer “good” at it, the joy has vanished.

The resistance of “cringe”

The reason we quit new things is that we know what it feels like to be good at something else.

We know the euphoria of flow.

We know what it feels like when a task is effortless.

So, when we try something new—like cooking or writing—and it feels clunky and “cringe,” we recoil. We hesitate. We run away.

We mistake the learning curve for a lack of passion. And I was a believer of this narrative, too.

• Writing: I used to feel embarrassed to share my thoughts. Now, it’s only natural to clear my thoughts by writing.

• Drawing: I used to think my sketches were ugly. Now, they are my greatest strength.

• Cooking: I used to hate the kitchen. But the more I practised, the more I learned. Now, I can look at my fridge and see a meal instead of a problem.

I only started enjoying these things once I pushed past the “shitty first attempts.” Once I knew that I was good enough, things started to get fun.

I no longer think about what other people say when I publish my writings. I am confident enough to offer my drawing skills as a service. And I happily cook for my family every day.

What we often forget is that skill is the gatekeeper of fun. Just like what the Japanese actor said: You won’t enjoy it if you’re not good at it.

So, if you are currently struggling with a new hobby, or if you feel like giving up because “it’s just not fun,” ask yourself:

Do I actually hate this, or am I just tired of being bad at it?

The resistance you feel, the “cringe,” the frustration, the hurdle, they are just the price of admission. They are the things that most people avoid. They are the reason why some people are better than others.

Just keep going, because the euphoria is waiting for you on the other side of the practice.

Remember: you can’t enjoy it until you’re good at it.

So, get good.

And enjoy the ride.

I received a notification on my phone. It was from my photo app, reminding me about an event that happened 8 years ago. And that was when I realised an unsettling feeling that I can’t really explain: My phone is full of strangers.

Not actual strangers.
People who used to matter.
People I used to talk to every day.
People whom I thought I’d spend my life with.
People who tagged me in everything on Facebook.
People I stayed up with until 3 AM playing games, talking nonsense, sharing life.

Now it’s just silence.

This one photo from eight years ago was the last time we all hung out. At the time, it didn’t feel like anything special; it was just another day. Because none of us knew it would be our last time spending time together.

Since then, we’ve barely spoken. No falling out. No drama. Nothing broke.

Just distance. Just life. Just different people walking forward and never crossing paths again. And I keep wondering:

How much of their life have I missed?
How much of mine have they missed?

Not because we didn’t care.
But because we’re just busy becoming someone.
We were busy trying to figure out our own lives.
And unfortunately, somewhere along the way, we stopped being part of each other’s story. We entered different worlds, and our lives were never what they used to be.

The weird part is, they’re the only ones.

There’s a friend from my first job. We used to support each other through everything. Now I don’t even know where she is. No social media accounts, no replies on WhatsApp when I sent a happy birthday message, we’re basically strangers now.

There’s that group of colleagues bonded by a shared hatred of one boss. At the time, it felt permanent. It ended the moment I left the company. Turns out we share nothing in common apart from the fact that we didn’t like our boss.

There are people I met once, followed on Instagram, and never spoke to again. We exist in each other’s feeds, not in each other’s lives. I didn’t even remember how we met.

And then there are the ones who were just there.

When you really think about it, your life is full of people who were temporary but never felt temporary at the time. That’s what makes it hit. They were part of your everyday. Now they’re just archived.

And I wouldn’t have remembered about them if not for the notifications from my photos app.

Honestly, I don’t feel the need to reconnect with all of them. If we were to hang out, we’d probably have nothing to say to each other.

But, isn’t it just strange?

How can someone go from being part of your daily life to someone you haven’t thought about in years?

And they probably feel the same way about you.

Once in a while, your name crosses their mind.
A quick memory. Then it’s gone.

No final conversation.

No big ending.

Just people entering, staying for a while, and leaving without announcement.

Some friends stay for a season.
Some stay for a reason.
Some stay for a lifetime.

Most of them quietly become strangers again.

Still there.

Just living in your camera roll.

I hope you find this insightful. Remember:

It’s not going to be easy,
But it’s not impossible.

Your friend,

Brian.

Adulting teaches you something strange.

When you were younger, learning felt hopeful. It felt like leveling up, like you were growing into a better version of yourself.

But somewhere along the way, as an adult, that feeling changes.

Learning stops feeling like a choice. Now, it feels like a way to survive. Because if you don’t do it, it comes with consequences.

If you don’t keep up, you fall behind.
If you don’t adapt, things start to break.
If you don’t improve, life won’t wait for you to catch up.

Life doesn’t pause for you. It just drags you by the collar, whether you are ready or not.

So you adapt and learn.
You swallow your fear.
You figure shit out.
Even when you are tired.
Even when your life feels like a mess.

Now, learning is no longer about growing. Learning is about surviving.

You still grow and level up, in a way. Just not in the way you expected.

And somehow, you survive.

Today, you did a good job.

Thanks for the hard work.

Thank you for trying.

Thanks for surviving.

I hope you find this insightful. Remember:

It’s not going to be easy,
But it’s not impossible.

Your friend,
Brian.

These days, I’ve been cooking almost every day. Sometimes, even twice a day.

However, even at the beginning of this year, if you told me to cook, I would’ve laughed it off and ordered delivery, because I used to be allergic to cooking.

And honestly, the reason felt valid.

Cooking takes time and effort, yet it only takes me 15 minutes to finish the food.
Then I have to clean up, wash the utensils, wipe the stove, and the list goes on.

In the end, I just felt the ROI was not worth it:
Two hours of preparation and cleaning for 15 minutes of mediocre food.

Mediocre, because back then, I was never able to make tasty food for myself.
I thought I wasn’t cut out for it, and I didn’t want to spend time learning how to cook.

So I gave up on it.
I told myself, “Cooking is just not my thing.”

However, in the past two months, though, something shifted.

At first, I started with fried eggs.
Nothing ambitious. Just eggs and rice.

Then I added toppings. Then sides.
Then, different variations of eggs with sides.

And at some point, it began to click.

It was interesting to realise that I can use the same ingredients, but get different flavours just by changing the spices.

Or I can use the same spices, but end up with completely different dishes if I change the ingredients.

Cooking became a new obsession for me.
I no longer feel that it is troublesome.

Every time I have to cook, I see it as a playground where I can whip up new formulas, test tiny variations, and come up with random stuff that may or may not work. It felt like I was playing a game.

Sometimes it turns out great.
Sometimes it’s just okay.
But I notice I no longer resent the effort.

I began to enjoy it.

Looking back, I realised something important:

Maybe I didn’t actually hate cooking itself.
Maybe I hated being bad at it.

I hated spending so much time on something that didn’t taste good.
I hated feeling clumsy and unsure of what I was doing.
So I labelled it as “not for me” and moved on.
I found valid excuses, and believed it with all my heart.

But the moment I allowed myself to stay with it a bit longer, start small, and play, the story changed. The time spent in the kitchen didn’t feel like a waste anymore.
It started to feel like a way of taking care of myself, one simple plate at a time.

And now I’m wondering:

How many other things in my life did I decide I “hate?”

When in reality, I just never stayed long enough to get past the awkward beginning?

I hope you find this insightful. Remember:

It’s not going to be easy,
But it’s not impossible.

Your friend,

Brian.

Everyone seems to have a five-year plan. A vision board. A clear direction they are working toward.

And then there is you. Still figuring things out. Just trying to get through the week.

That is okay.

We grew up believing that dreams give life meaning. That, without goals, we are just drifting. That ambition is what moves life forward.

But no one really talks about the pressure of being asked, “What are you working toward?” and not knowing how to answer. No one really talks about not knowing what to do with your life.

A life where you are just living. Waking up. Doing your best. Taking care of what is in front of you.

So let me tell you something worth remembering.

Not having a dream does not mean you are a loser.

You might feel lost. You might still be figuring things out.

But you are not a loser.

Sometimes it means you are resting.

Sometimes it means something ended, and you have not found what comes next.

And sometimes, it simply means you are living without turning your life into a constant project.

Goals can be helpful. Dreams can be meaningful. But they are not the only way to live a good life.

There are seasons where the most important things are small.

A good food that makes you feel good. A walk that cleared your head.
A conversation with a good friend that left you feeling warm.

These moments matter.

You do not need a big direction to justify your existence.

So if you are in a season without a clear goal, without a dream you can point to, you are not falling behind.

You are just here.

And for now, that is enough.

I hope you find this insightful. Remember:

It’s not going to be easy,
But it’s not impossible.

Your friend,
Brian.

I remember being a kid, lying awake at night, wondering what my life would look like when I grew up.

What kind of job would I have? Where would I live? Would I ever find someone to share my life with?

Those questions feel like they belong to another lifetime now. But lately, I’ve been sitting with a realisation: I am living the life that kid was dreaming of.

Take my job, for example. I enjoy it, mostly. Sure, there are days I resent trading my hours for a paycheck, and the idea of making wealthy people wealthier doesn’t exactly light a fire in me. But if I’m being honest with myself, and that’s kind of the whole point of this, I am genuinely grateful for it. Especially right now, in this economy. It feeds my family. It gives me the breathing room to build something that actually matters to me, like The Tiny Wisdom.

Because I still remember being 22, freshly out of university, and completely lost. Adulthood had arrived, and with it came real responsibilities and real consequences. Everything felt overwhelming. I froze a lot. I quit things before they started, not because I didn’t care, but because I was terrified of getting it wrong.

That was eleven years ago. A lot has happened since.

I’ve worked and lived in different countries, something the 22-year-old me would have considered wildly out of reach. I’ve met people who changed me. Made friends, some for a season, some for life. And somewhere in the middle of all of it, I found the love of my life. Without them, everything would feel a little emptier, a little colder.

Whenever life feels like shit, I remember that I used to pray for a life like this.

Because I think we often forget about it.

We complain about our jobs because the pay could be better or the work feels meaningless. But do you remember the relief you felt when you got that job? The way it felt like a door finally opening?

We scroll through other people’s lives and feel like ours is falling short. But the life we’re living right now, the routines, the small frustrations, the people waiting for us at home, this is the stuff someone younger was desperately hoping for.

Not the hard parts. But the life wrapped around them.

The fact that you have people to come home to. The fact that your problems are ones worth solving. The fact that you’re still here, still trying, still showing up.

We’re wired to keep moving forward, chasing the next milestone, the next goal, the next version of ourselves. And honestly, that drive is part of what gets us where we need to go. But somewhere in all that reaching, we forget to look down at the ground we’re already standing on. A place we once begged to reach.

So lately, when things feel heavy, I ask myself one question: Would the 22-year-old me be happy to be here?

And most of the time, the answer is yes.

Life isn’t perfect. It was never going to be. But it is full. And full is so much more than I thought I’d get.

If you’re somewhere in the middle right now, past where you started but not yet where you want to be, I hope this lands softly.

Someone out there is dreaming of the life you’re already living.

That someone might even be you, not too long ago.

You used to pray for times like this.

Don’t forget to notice them.

I hope you find this insightful. Remember:

It’s not going to be easy,
But it’s not impossible.

Your friend,
Brian.

Last year marked my 10th anniversary as an adult. Not in age, but in experience. Ten years since I graduated from college and stepped into the real world for the first time.

A decade of figuring things out, making mistakes, and slowly becoming someone I did not expect to be.

Nobody handed me a map. And honestly, I think that is the point.

Here are 10 blog posts, one for each lesson I wish I had known sooner. I am sharing them for anyone who is just starting out, who’s lost, or who absolutely has no idea what comes next.

You are not alone in that feeling. I’m still lost, too.

10 blog posts for each lesson I wish I had known sooner

1. What the adults don’t tell us about adulthood
   In school, you can redo a test. In real life, there are no grades and no one to clean up your mess. This is the first wall every new adult hits, and almost no one prepares you for it.

2. Embracing the embarrassing beginnings
   Every expert once made something cringe-worthy. The hard lesson is that you have to go through that phase. There is no shortcut past embarrassment into competence.

3. The Pain of Regret Is Worse Than the Pain of Discipline
   Young adults often choose comfort now and suffer regret later. This one is a gut-punch they need early, not after a decade of “what ifs.”

4. Failing does not make you a failure
   School equates failure with shame. Adult life is the opposite. Failure is data, and this reframe is one of the most important mindset shifts of the first 10 years.

5. Nobody cares about what you do
   Sounds harsh, but it is incredibly liberating. So much early-adult anxiety comes from performing life for an imaginary audience. This article is the cure.

6. The perfectionist’s prison
   Perfectionism is procrastination in disguise. New adults, especially high achievers fresh out of school, need to hear this before it costs them years.

7. Why do we need “closure” before we “begin?”
   One of the most relatable traps is waiting to feel “ready” before starting. The best time was years ago. The second best time is now.

8. Modern friendships are about the intention
   Friendships after college do not look like friendships in college. Nobody warns you about this. Learning to maintain adult friendships intentionally is a real and necessary skill.

9. When I stopped trying to keep the world turning
   “Doing my best” can quietly become a survival mechanism rather than an act of love. This piece resonates deeply with anyone a few years into their career and running on fumes.

10. You haven’t seen the best version of yourself
    After 10 years of hard lessons, the most honest thing you can tell a young adult is this: you are not done yet, and that is the good news.

I hope you find this insightful. Remember:

It’s not going to be easy,
But it’s not impossible.

Your friend,
Brian.

I have plans. Big ones, small ones, plans I think about before I sleep and plans that greet me when I wake up.

And because I care about them so much, I want them to happen now.

I anticipate the good parts. I rehearse the hard parts. I prepare for scenarios that haven’t even shown up yet, fears I’ve already decided are coming, futures I’ve already started living inside my head.

Somewhere in the middle of all that, I stopped being here in the “now.”

The present became background noise. Something to get through on the way to later. I was so far ahead of myself that the version of me sitting at this desk, breathing right now, had already been left behind.

That’s how overwhelm works, I think. It doesn’t always come from too much happening. Sometimes it comes from feeling too much about what hasn’t happened yet. The anxiety is real, but it’s being spent on a moment that doesn’t exist yet.

And then, because I noticed, because some small part of me went hey, wait, I tried to stop. All at once. Everything, suddenly, full stop.

It didn’t go well.

My mind didn’t know what to do with the silence I forced on it. The thoughts didn’t disappear. They just kept arriving, except now there was nowhere for them to go. Stopping all at once didn’t bring calm. It brought a different kind of noise.

I think that’s the part nobody really talks about.

“Stopping” is not as easy as it sounds. When you’ve been running on anxiety for a while, stillness doesn’t feel like relief right away. It feels strange and uncomfortable, like your nervous system doesn’t trust it yet.

You can’t think your way out of overthinking in one move. And you can’t force yourself into the present just by deciding to be there. It takes a little more patience than that. It takes a while for our mind and body to adjust.

What actually helped, even a little, was not trying to fix everything at once. Just noticing one small thing. The temperature of the room. The sound outside the window. The fact that right now, in this exact moment, nothing is actually on fire.

The future I was so anxious about is still the future. It hasn’t arrived. And the present, the one I kept skipping over, has been here the whole time, waiting for me to live it to the fullest.

The plans are still there. They’re not going anywhere. The fears and worries, too. But they don’t need to be lived right now, today, all at once.

You are allowed to put them down for a moment. You are allowed to be in the room you are actually in, doing nothing more than just being here.

You are allowed to just “be.”

I hope you find this insightful. Remember:

It’s not going to be easy,
But it’s not impossible.

Your friend,

Brian.

When I was a teenager, I watched Friends and How I Met Your Mother like they were instruction manuals for life.

A group of people. Same coffee shop. Every day. Loud, messy, exciting stories every day, always there for each other. That’s what friendship looks like, right?

I believed it completely. I thought if we weren’t seeing each other constantly, we weren’t really friends. I held that standard quietly for years and quietly felt like I was failing at it. Like something was wrong with me. Like I had no real friends at all.

Then I grew up. And I realised the TV lied to us.

Adult friendship is strange because nobody prepares you for it.

One day, you’re seeing your people every week, and then, slowly, without any dramatic falling-out, the gaps between meetings get longer. Months pass. You get busy. Life fills in the space.

Everyone has their own responsibilities. Their own needs. Their own timing.

And most of the time, your lives simply won’t align.

Because life is happening to all of us, at the same time, in different directions. Not because anyone stopped caring. You’re all in the middle of your own story, and the chapters don’t always overlap.

So people drift. And that used to feel like a loss.

But I’ve started thinking about it differently.

When a friend goes quiet for months, or we stop making plans as often, I no longer read it as a sign that the friendship is ending.

I think of it as a time-skip arc, the kind you see in manga or comics, where a character steps off the page for a while.

Life happens to them off-panel. And when they return, something has shifted.

They’ve grown. They’ve been through something. There’s a new chapter waiting to be told. That reframe changed everything for me.

The silence isn’t abandonment.

It’s just everyone living their life.

It’s just when we all try to figure out life.

Then, finally, when they do come back, we sit down again over food, or for a walk, or for a long phone call; I won’t be counting the gaps. I won’t be counting the months or keeping score.

I’m just there. Ready to get to know them again. To hear what happened in the years we missed. To pick up not where we left off, but from where we both are now.

Two different people (or more), a little older, finding each other again. Catching up for those years we’ve missed each other.

That’s the version of friendship I’m learning to hold.

Less sitcom, more slow novel. No laugh track. No perfectly timed reunions.

Just old friends making time when they can, and meaning it when they do.

I hope you find this insightful. Remember:

It’s not going to be easy,
But it’s not impossible.

Your friend,

Brian.

I went to the aquarium recently.

I wanted to see the colours, the movement, and the mystery of the ocean. The exhibitions were beautiful, and I learned a lot about marine life.

But as I stood in front of a large glass panel, watching a group of fish swim in circles, a strange feeling washed over me.

It wasn’t awe. It was pity.

I looked at them and thought: “How sad it is to be stuck here for the rest of their lives.”

Because they didn’t choose to be here. They didn’t choose to be born or to be taken into a box.

They didn’t choose to spend their entire lives in a few hundred gallons of water when they were meant for an entire ocean.

They are just there, and there’s nothing they can do about it.

And that’s when I realised…

I am not too different.

Sometimes, it feels like I’m living in my own version of a glass box. Sometimes it’s a cubicle. Other times, it’s my self-limiting beliefs. And, many times, it was other people’s expectations.

I feel like I always need to do my best. I need to smile. I need to be happy. I need to succeed.

I feel like I have to hide my weaknesses, making sure no one sees that I actually have no idea what I’m doing half the time. I thought I was at the aquarium to see the marine life, but instead, I saw my own reflection in the glass.

But there is a difference between the fish and me.

I have a choice.

Life isn’t always fair, and often we don’t get to choose our circumstances. We might feel trapped by our jobs, our responsibilities, or the expectations of others. But unlike the fish, we have the power to change our trajectory.

It’s easy to feel defeated when we realise how much is out of our control. We think that if we try, we’ll probably just fail. And honestly? We might.

But if we keep going, learn from the times we hit the glass, and stay consistent, things start to change.

The trap isn’t permanent if we refuse to give up. If we stop making excuses and accept that, while it won’t be easy, it also isn’t impossible.

Progress doesn’t have to be a giant leap out of the tank. It’s usually just one small act. One honest conversation. One hour spent working on a dream. One day of being kind to ourselves.

Over time, these small acts compound. And before you know it, you’ve swam further than you ever thought possible.

You are no longer trapped in a box.

You finally swim in the ocean.

I hope you find this insightful. Remember:

It’s not going to be easy,
But it’s not impossible.

Your friend,

Brian.

Some mornings, I wake up, and my brain goes straight into work mode.

An alarm blasts. My hand reaches for the snooze button like it’s a negotiation. I lie there doing math I didn’t ask for: how many hours I slept, how much time I have, how much energy I can fake.

I shut it off and stare at the ceiling for a second. Then I remember a different sound.

I remember waking up to my mom calling me to eat breakfast.

Not because I had somewhere to be, but because food was ready and someone was already taking care of the day.

Back then, mornings had a shape, a pattern. Someone else was already awake. Someone else had planned the day. I just followed the smell of food and sat at the table. The rest will be taken care of by my parents.

Now the table is still there, but it is empty until I do something about it.

Most days, it’ll be coffee and takeout.

Back then, sleeping was the easiest thing to do. It was natural, and I often woke up at 6 or 7 a.m. without forcing it. My body just followed the rhythm of the house.

These days, I go to bed late and get up late, but I still feel like I’m always catching up. Mornings aren’t as exciting for me as they once were. I tell myself that working late at night makes me productive, but really, I was just “postponing tomorrow” instead of getting some rest.

Finally, I remember waiting for my dad to come home from work.

When he arrived, the house felt complete, as if the day were officially over. Like we were safe because the person who carried everything finally came back.

I didn’t understand what it cost him.

Now I do.

Now I know the other part.

The tired that sits in your shoulders. The tired that makes you answer with fewer words. The tired that follows you into the next day.

That is what growing up does. It turns the people you admired into people you understand.

That’s what hits me when I think about childhood.

It wasn’t perfect. But it was a life built on someone else’s effort. Someone else’s routine. Someone else was absorbing the stress, so I could wake up and just be a kid.

I miss it sometimes. Not because it was perfect, but because it was covered. Someone else’s routine handled life, someone else’s patience, someone else’s love that showed up on time.

Now I am the one who has to show up on time.

No one is waiting at the table to tell me to eat. No one is coming home to make the room feel safe again. I’m the one who has to become home now.

And when I miss childhood, I’m not only missing being young.

I’m missing being taken care of without having to earn it. I’m missing the kind of love that showed up on schedule, every morning, every night, like it was the most normal thing in the world.

After all these thoughts, I stop. I take a shower and get ready for work. I grab my bag, check my phone, and step back into the schedule.

Blending in with the crowd in my commute.

Today is just another day as an adult.

I’ll also do my best today.

I hope you find this insightful. Remember:

It’s not going to be easy,
But it’s not impossible.

Your friend,

Brian.

A couple of years ago, I found myself rushing through lunch just to get back to work as soon as possible.

I scroll through my phone with one hand, listen to music through my earphones, and eat almost without tasting the food.

Three things at once. Eating, scrolling, listening, and already thinking about what comes next.

The question appeared in the middle of my doomscrolling:

Why can’t I just eat? Why do I feel the need to reach for my phone while eating? When did I stop trying to enjoy things as they are?

I do not remember deciding to turn every simple activity into a multitasking session. It just slowly became normal. Lunch transformed from simply “taking a break” into a “task” to complete. I convinced myself that eating without checking updates was unproductive, a waste of time. That doing just one thing was not enough — I had to multitask.

Over time, I started evaluating my days by output rather than experience.

How much I finished, not how deeply I felt. Presence began to seem like a luxury, and even rest needed a reason to exist. At some point, I felt guilty for sleeping. Why waste time sleeping, if I could be working all night?

What makes it worse is that the phone makes everything measurable. We can count likes, followers, and minutes spent on screens. Every thought feels worth sharing, every meal is photo-worthy, every walk needs a soundtrack.

Life becomes a series of updates, not experiences.

These days, many people are so detached from real life because they’ve turned their attention toward how others might perceive them through their phones. They forgot how to simply be in real life.

And I am not one to talk. I feel how deeply this has shaped me. I scroll while I eat, think about messages while I walk, and measure my days by how much I got done. Sometimes I post pictures and hope for likes. Yet beneath all that motion, something feels missing.

So I did two things: I removed the apps that kept me glued to my phone, and I tried to do more “physical” stuff.

I read books, not screens. I write on paper, not on my notes app. I played games on a Game Boy, not on my phone. I took pictures with a camera. I went to concerts and enjoyed the show. I took a walk and looked at the view.

I started doing things without my phone and learned to enjoy them for what they are again.

At first, the silence felt uncomfortable. Whenever I felt bored, I reached for my phone, only to find nothing there. But slowly, boredom became peace. Life didn’t get more exciting; it got more real.

These days, life without the phone seems dull. But it’s only dull because we’ve let our attention get stolen by the rectangular machine in our pockets.

Of course, I didn’t give up my phone forever. It’s impossible. I still scroll sometimes, check notifications, but I also know when to stop. It’s not about removing distraction — it’s about remembering that I can choose where to put my attention.

Now I see “being present” as a skill. One that modern life constantly tries to take away. Every time I eat without my phone or walk without music, it feels like a tiny rebellion.

Because the world won’t slow down for us.

But we can take it slow, if we choose to.

I hope you find this insightful. Remember:

It’s not going to be easy,
But it’s not impossible.

Your friend,

Brian.

When I was younger, I always had many ideas.
I wanna do this, I wanna do that.

And almost every time, someone would say,
“Isn’t someone else already doing that?”
“YouTubers already make that kind of video.”
“There’s already a comic like that.”

And almost every time, I followed their advice.
I have to be original and creative. I can’t do what others are doing.
Why should I do what other people have done?
I don’t want to be seen as a poser or a plagiarist.

But the more I listen to them, the more I realise that my life is going nowhere.
Because I had been asking the wrong people.

That was when I learned one thing:
Most people are more afraid than they look.

They aren’t really saying, “It already exists.”
They’re saying, “I’m scared to try, so you probably shouldn’t try either.”

Your manager who “knows” writing but never publishes.
Your friend who always has opinions but never does anything.
Your coworker who loves to “give feedback” but never risks their own name.
Anyone who objects, but never does.

They are not bad people.
They usually mean well.
But they are afraid.
And afraid people give afraid advice.

“Be realistic.”
“Don’t embarrass yourself.”
“Don’t waste your time.”
“Play it safe.”

If you listen to that for long enough, you start to believe that safety is the same as wisdom.
You start to move more slowly.
You start to doubt yourself more.
You start to delay the things you actually want to do.

Until one day, you wake up and realise: you’ve collected more opinions than experiences.

So here is something I wish I learned earlier:
Don’t ask for advice from people who never do the thing.
They can only pass down their fear.

Ask yourself:

• Do they actually do this thing in real life, consistently?

• Do they take risks and ship their work?

• Do they grow, or do they just comment on other people’s growth?

If the answer is no, their advice might come from love, but not from experience. Because good intentions are not enough.

If they don’t know what they’re doing, why let them be the voice inside your head? Why limit yourself just because someone inexperienced told you not to?

Instead, find people who are in the arena.
Those who have their skin in the game for a while.
The writer who publishes even when it’s imperfect.
The designer who keeps posting even when the likes are low.
The friend who tries, fails, and tries again without making drama about it.

These people are different.

They might still say, “This already exists.”
But it sounds more like, “Yeah, it exists. So what? Do it your way.”

They won’t try to slow you down.
They won’t laugh at you for being a beginner.
They won’t shrink your idea just to feel safe.

They will:

• Show you what actually works.

• Tell you where you’re messing up, without killing your spirit.

• Remind you that every “original” thing started as a repeated idea with a different soul behind it.

Because this is the truth:
Almost everything has been done.
But not by you.

Your job is not to invent a completely new universe.
Your job is to bring your version of it to life.

So if you have an idea and someone says, “Someone already did that.”
Good. That means it’s possible. You just have to make it different.

So, sit down.
Make your thing.
Hit publish.
Share it.
Do it.

Let the afraid people keep their fear.
Go find the ones who know what they’re doing,
and let them remind you:

It doesn’t have to be new.
It just has to be yours.

I hope you find this insightful. Remember:

It’s not going to be easy,
But it’s not impossible.

Your friend,

Brian.